Ok - I've been formulating this blog in my mind all week. Because this happened last Sunday. And I really want to do it justice in word form. Because I need to paint just the right picture for you. It was a normal Sunday morning at church for us. Great music, great message, and people taking care of business at the altar. Now I'll let you in on a little secret. I cant keep my eyes closed the entire time when a prayer time is any more than 3 minutes. So I was taking in the candle light, acoustic band, and general spirit led mood.
My eyes fell across the large bald man at the alter. Now normally my eyes would pass without stopping on this scene. Except HIS CRACK WAS SHOWING. And I need to fill in this word picture for you. It was not a little tiny bit of crack. It was not an inch, it was not 2 inches, it was not 3 inches. It was 4 INCHES PEOPLE. I know, because I made sure I looked at my ruler when I got home to accurately gauge it.
Now getting tickled in prayer time is torture. Because I felt like when I was a little kid and wasn't supposed to be laughing, so it made it even worse. So I of course jabbed Andy in the side with my elbow. He had his eyes dutifully closed. So he looks at me with a dirty look and a sharp "WHAT". I point up front and giggle to myself. Well, Andy's face made me laugh even more. So he is laughing - giving me stern looks and telling me to be quiet - and then laughing again. I keep looking down, and then up again, because I think to myself - Can he SERIOUSLY not feel that????? So then some men go up to pray with him and I'm like - thank goodness - surely one of them will stand behind him and at least block it.
NO. They didn't. Which made me even more tickled. Because I couldn't get out of my mind what a funny picture that would be. With the candles in the background - people all around him praying - but no one blocking the crack.
So then Andy jabs our friend Jeff who is next to him - points - and then Jeff says "I can't believe you guys would crack a joke like that".
So others start to leave the alter - I'm like surely this guy is about done. But he ends up being the LAST one up there. I'm seriously about to leave because I know I'm being totally disrespectful. Well he finally get up and DOESN'T EVEN PULL UP HIS PANTS.
God really does know what everyone needs. He knew I needed a laugh after a hard week at work. And he gave it to me.
The things people miss out on when they don't go to church.