Another deep one.

There Zak sat at the table, crying his eyes out. And it wasn't just tears, it was like major sobbing. I can't remember exactly what the problem was. I'm sure it had to do with some sort of technology that I wasn't letting him use, like the computer, TV, or PS2. But that is beside the point. Its what he said that I haven't been able to forget. With his arms crossed and hot tears streaming down his face he said "If you 'd just give me what I want, mom, I wouldn't be so upset. If you'd just give me what I want!" I'm going to let you draw your own spiritual parallel, because it is plain as day. But I'll give you a hint: Zak gave me a little glimpse of what I look like to someone else (someone larger than life itself) when I don't get what I want.

Ouch.

oh to be 2 again

Rene' has been cracking us up. She's really starting to talk in full sentences which is fun because we've never heard her do it before. She's doing some funny things too. At the church nursery someone wrote her name on her diaper. She thought it was the coolest thing in the world. So everytime we change her now, she asks for her name on her diaper. I protested the first time. Then she got really upset, and I thought, whats it going to hurt. Every diaper since then has had her name on it. Today, Andy was looking for her and found her in her room with the tube of Desitin. She kept saying "on my baby". Andy found the baby with Desitin smeared in the appropriate spot. It makes a mother proud. When I was talking to Andy on the phone today, I heard, "Hey dad". I thought it was Paige, but it was Rene'. What 2 year old says dad instead of daddy? I should be sad, but I'm not. I'm looking forward to in a few months when we are officially through with diapers!!!

I'm back and its deep and maybe controversial

I'm just going to admit it. I have an issue with pride. I think my way is the best way. Really. But you see, since I'm a Christian, that means I give God full reign to correct me. And He does. Often. Most of the time, if I am judgemental regarding someone or something, it comes back to haunt me. Pre-children, I believed my children would behave because I would spank them. And it was as easy as that. Then I got a child who doesn't care whether she's spanked or not. That is example #1. And I have about 20 of them. I'll spare you. But I will share the latest. I thought that staying home was the only way to raise children, the best way. And I was prideful about it. In my heart, not out loud. And here I am now, a working mom. A working mom who loves her kids just as much as she did when she stayed home with them all day. And who (shudder) actually likes going to work. (most of the time) I haven't tired yet of dressing up everyday!! I am living what I said I'd never do. And it is working for our family. Very well. And what annoys me the most is that I get the very sympathetic "So how is your job going?" - insert look of pity - from some of my stay-at-home mom friends. They feel sorry for me because I "had" to go back to work. And I can't chastize them for it, unfortunately, because I was one of them a few months ago. Love you girls! So here is the lesson learned for me. Never say never. Its cliche', I know. But as soon as I learn that, maybe, just maybe, I will learn to stop critiquing others (to myself of course) because most likely I will either become it, or someone I know and love will. And it will rock my world. And I will be a better person because of it.